Life is a playground and it is our responsibility to try all the fun activities it has to share with us! I feel that I have been exposed to a lot by having lived in several countries and have met people from all parts of the world. I have also found myself in some crazy, fun, and weird situations (yikes). So here are 30 things that I have learned by 30 years old.
1. Peoples opinions of you are none of your business
The truth always comes to surface if it is important enough, and anyone’s thoughts about you should not affect your life! We all have different beliefs, mannerisms, and pasts. If someone judges you without substantial grounds, then who the f*ck are they? So continue being your best you and do not let anyone put you down based on their feeling.
2. Have routines
Routines set the tone for the day and give you a sense of purpose. We give our mind a sense of relief when we schedule our day and it leads to productivity! Click here for my post on the importance of morning and evening routines.
Life gives us curve balls and we need to be prepared. I always felt invincible and that I should never focus on money, and then the pandemic hit. Holy moly was I in for a treat, a nasty one! Saving gives us security or a F*ck it budget. You need to take care of you. Taking care of your finances gives you a sense of pride and security which is what everyone needs.
Not only do your eyes see new and beautiful sights, but your mind opens to new experiences. When travelling; new culture, people, and historical sights put life into perspective. When we stay in one place, we can only grow so much. When I travel, I always see things in a new light and apply it to my way of life. Also, it is so easy to take our lives for granted and when we see certain things that we don’t like or may upset us, we take a look at our lives and become so grateful for what we have.
5. Clear Space = Clear Mind
I was a total mess growing up (and still can be). I would throw my clothes on the floor, leave my makeup on the bathroom counter and leave dirty pans on my stove. I would slowly get more and more stressed throughout my day, or even week. At the time, I didn’t know what it was until one day I cleaned everything up. After I tidied and cleaned my house, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I was weirdly shocked! I could concentrate more and it felt like I could breathe better. According to articles on Feng Shui, having a tidy space allows positive energy to flow through your home and your life.
6. Don’t compare (as hard as it is)
Everyone goes through life differently. You can’t compare an apple and an orange, they’re completely different! Your friend, boss, cousin, coworker etc… has a different mind and experiences from you. Comparing yourself to anyone else is detrimental and honestly, pointless. You are your only competition. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and no matter what, your journey is beautiful and unique.
Like hairdo’s, friends come and go, and that’s okay! Some people are a part of our growth and some grow with us. Change is consistent and if we go in a different direction from a former best friend, that is okay. It doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them ever, it just means you are on different paths and you are doing what is best for you with the best intentions.
8. Romantic Relationships
Relationships allow us to learn about ourselves. Who we are in a relationship is a reflection of the best and worst versions of ourselves. There have been countless times where I have seen the worst and best versions of myself and now that I look back, I am happy that I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. If I didn’t experience the relationships that have brought out the worst, then I wouldn’t learn what was the worst or best for me. Everyone’s relationship is a learning lesson and once you find your long term partner, you will be able to see the signs of what will make you the best version of yourself with that person.
9. Think before you speak
I know this sounds juvenile, but I really feel that it is important. When I say think before you speak, I don’t mean sugarcoat your thoughts. When we think before we speak, we figure out the best way to express ourselves in the most diplomatic way possible. I remember, when I speak without a filter, I say it in a way that I’m not always proud of. My feelings stay the same but my words create a harsher tone. So think twice before saying it, think of the consequence of your words and see what you can do to express yourself correctly.
10. Forgive yourself
We all make mistakes, and some mistakes cannot be taken back or completely forgivable, but it’s okay. We are all human and in order to learn we have to make mistakes and in hopes, we won’t make the same mistake twice.
11. Being embarrassed can be a good thing
When we think back at the extremely embarrassing moments, we cringe like there is no tomorrow. When I do this, I have to remind myself that this means I have grown…a lot. We grow constantly and the fact that we can feel embarrassed is a good sign! So remember, cringe equals growth.
12. Have Pride
When we have pride in our work or have pride for our possessions, we take better care of them. Growing up, if I didn’t like something, I would do it with 50% effort and it showed. Just because I didn’t care about something, doesn’t mean someone else didn’t either. When you give your all to your best ability (some days are better than others) you assure yourself and the people around you. It shows to others and yourself that you have respect, and respect goes a long way as it brings confidence and opportunities.
13. Good Posture
As little as this seems, having good posture is very important. Such as number 12, it gives off the vibe that you are confident, respectable and that you take care of yourself. Even if you don’t feel like all those things, a good posture can trick your mind into believing it.
14. Conserve your energy
Not everyone deserves all your energy but you. I believe there are two types of situations when it comes to conserving energy. One type is when you are absolutely exhausted from your mental state at the time or from work. If you are feeling like this, please do not feel pressured to go out to an event or a night out with the gals. I know we have been in lockdown and all we want to do is go out, but do not expel energy you don’t have and the most important thing is to not feel guilty about it. The second type would be picking your battles. Not everything or everyone deserves your opinion or fight. There are just some things that are better left unsaid. This is quite hard if you have a mouth on you (like me) but think of your word and energy as precious and should only be thrown out as you see appropriate.
15. Don’t take things too personally
I know this can be hard! I’m quite a sensitive soul, so when someone says something that I find hurtful, it can sting. What I have come to realise is that depending on how that person is feeling, that is how they treat you. Also, we hear things the way we WANT to hear it. If you are in a great mood and nothing can bring you down, then someone cannot affect you as much as if you were having a not-so-great day. So when someone says something that doesn’t sit well with you, try to look beyond your initial feelings and think positively about the situation.
16. Not everything that glitters is gold
When opportunities present themselves, the advice is to always take them. So for this one, it is just a fair warning of what has happened to me in the past. I would be shown amazing opportunities and I would never think of both sides of the coin. I would only focus on the money, the title, or anything else that “glittered” to me. I would find out the harsh reality of these opportunities fast. So, before you jump into something that seems amazing, take a second and really find the nooks and crannies and see if you can handle it.
This one is my favourite. Journaling helps with anything that is on your mind. When i’m upset, I can write down all my feelings without any guilt. No one can see it and it serves its purpose by getting it off my chest. I also love to journal on the things I am grateful for, and by doing this, it creates more things in life to be grateful for. Lastly, I write my dreams, desires, asspirations, whatever you like to call it. It always whisks me away on an imaginary adventure that creates such positive feelings within me. So what I suggest is that you get a journal and make writing a habit. You will attract your dreams, let go of anger and manifest more things to be grateful for.
Meditating has not only helped my mind, but it has managed my habits as well. When meditating, you take the time to relax and breathe. We don’t do this enough! Our way of relaxing is chilling on the couch with a movie on, which is amazing, but it is not the only way to meditate. If you are a beginner, try a guided meditation. I love guided meditations! You can search for meditation videos on youtube from 5 to 20 minutes! We always have the time to meditate and we should always make time for it.
19. Always keep learning
Life is full of wonders and we need to keep that youthful spirit of curiosity. We are never too old to learn something new. Whether you want to play piano, learn a language or take a course in something you’re curious about, it is never too late. We need to remember that the world is our playground and we should take advantage of exploring new parts!
20. You are what you eat
” If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff” -Remy, Ratatouille. This is the harsh truth. When I was young, I could eat anything and be happy with my weight, as I didn’t gain that much. Now, When I eat the wrong thing, I can always feel it and see it. Not only does my body start to suffer, but so does my mind. Eating healthy nourishes the body and the mind and if we eat like crap, we will feel like crap.
21. Fake it until you make it
When you’re feeling down or unconfident, it shows whether you try to hide it or not. When you “pretend” you are something that you feel that you aren’t yet, you slowly trick yourself (in a good way) into becoming it. I remember there was a time where I really thought I was unattractive, and all I wanted was to be pretty. So one day, I decided that I am going to feel/pretend that I am pretty. Eventually, I kept doing things that “pretty girls” do! I put some makeup on, I dressed nicely, I ate well and I exercised. Before I knew it, I was getting compliments from my friends, family and strangers from the street! (which was kind of weird but nice). So the next time you want to change something about yourself, career or situation, act as if and it will appear right before your eyes.
22. Procrastination Kills
Procrastination is the devil on your shoulder. I frequently see funny quotes such as “ If I didn’t get everything done last minute, then I would stop procrastinating”, but this is just not sustainable. When we procrastinate, we feel a slight guilt and get worried if we will ever finish what we need to. Like in number X, if you are feeling overwhelmed or tired, take a deep breath and take things one step at a time. When you accomplish tasks when you don’t feel like it, you are actually creating a very healthy habit of discipline. Discipline is the killer of procrastination.
23. Don’t cave into societal pressures
By 22 you should have your college degree, by 26 you should be married and have a mortgage and by 28 you should be pregnant, right? WRONG. Society gives us these guidelines to live by to gain structure, but who are they to tell us what to do and when to do it? You do what is best for you! Everyone lives life differently and as long as you’re happy, no one has the right to say anything to you.
24. Don’t buy cheap!
When you buy cheap, you will find yourself buying it over and over again- making it super expensive! If you want a new wardrobe, good skin care, or just something nice for yourself, do not buy it in a rush. Save up, get a piggy bank and research the best for you. It doesn’t need to be designer, it just needs to be good quality.
25. Set goals
Setting daily and future goals help give us structure. When we set goals, we give ourselves a sense of purpose and path. Living in the moment is great, but when we set goals we prepare ourselves for a better future. Personally, I believe getting out of bed and doing daily tasks is an accomplishment. There are days where we can feel down and even lazy, but taking care of daily needs whether it is the house, children, or yourself, it will give a sense a pride and we should all have pride on ourselves!
26. Learn from the past, be present, keep the future in mind
Some of us stay stuck in the past, but we aren’t heading that way! We may look at our pasts with some feelings of regret, or glamorize it, but the past is a gift of learning. Whether we cringe or miss something, we need to incorporate that into our present life. We are growing everyday and we have our past to thank for that. Focusing on the present is so important as life is so short! Enjoy what you are doing today even though we all have been locked down! Take this time to reflect and mindfully aware of what you’re doing each day. The future is important and it is exciting! Lets keep it in mind by setting goals and visualizing. When we visualize what we want, we can manifest it!
27. Forgive others
This is probably one of the most important lessons I have learned. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Some things can be considered unforgivable, but not being able to forgive someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. Forgiveness is to help us find peace within ourselves and it allows you to move on and to be aware of certain red flags for future situations. So if you are feeling angry about the past because of someone else’s doing, just remember that it is not serving you or anyone else to hold on to this anger and find it within yourself to let go and move on.
28. Happiness is success
We live in a world of people showing how rich they are, what clothes they are wearing and the things they accomplished, but the real question is… are they happy? I believe that if you are happy, you are successful. If you are happy with what you have and what you have done, who is going to say that doesn’t equal success? So many “successful” people long for happiness. So please, search for happiness!
29. Choose your circle wisely
If you surround yourself with motivated, successful (in your perspective) and happy people, chances are you will become all of those beautiful things. Also, make sure you surround yourself with people who lift you up! If you have friends or people who give you back-handed compliments or say that you cannot succeed in the field of your choice, then it is time to reevaluate your peers!
30. Be cautious who you spill your guts to
When you have the urge to vent, make sure it is with someone you can truly trust. Unfortunately, not everyone has a heart of gold, and even if they do, sometimes they can slip out secrets that aren’t theirs to share.
Another caution, if you have amazing ideas, you should also be careful on who you share it with. Yes, there is enough for everyone in this world, but your ideas and dreams are precious! If you keep quiet on successes or ideas, there will be less pressure from your surroundings!
In conclusion, I am still learning every single day. Life is a journey and we are always growing. I hope that this post has opened your eyes on what is to come for your future or can help you reflect on your past 30 years of life!